March 18, 2006

Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That...

Yee Gawds (don't you love the way I use spelling to inadequately 'disguise' the fact that I am either a blasphemer or a heathen pagan wretch? you guess which...), but my car is UGLY! Being parked on a busy street during a major Meltdown is NOT a good idea. Obviously they salted my street... and since they knew that this snow/ice was all going to melt fast, I am taking that nice coating of sodium as a personal assault.

Not only that, but someone took a bit of Private Time in the Target parking lot in order to thoughtfully slam a few more dents in the tissue-paper-like sides of my car. I really appreciate that. You know, it's not like I *need* it to be Car Shaped. A little geometric randomness is probably good for the eyesight, or creativity, or something. It makes my car a little more Organic looking. Which is probably why that guy ran the red light in order to nearly kill me and the Vampire as we crossed Snelling the other day... he thought we were a big purple cabbage, and was seized with a craving for cole slaw.

I don't need that coating of paint, anyway. Rust is more environmentally friendly, I'm sure.


Really, I'm not entirely sure why the house and its current inhabitants are still in existance. From the sheer mass of dust I keep finding (well, 'finding' might not be the term I'm looking for... 'being ambushed by' might be more accurate, but even that doesn't fully convey the sort of Buried By Avalanche experience I've been having lately; I'm starting to identify my vacuum cleaner when asked if we store any weapons in our home), I can't help but wonder that there's anything *left* to make dust out of. Surely we should have been able to build a new planet out of the dust bu... err, dust elephants that I've been capturing and ejecting from the house over the past year or so. Is it just recycled? Is it sneaking back in under the door at night? If I left little offerings of food and blankets and maybe a space heater, would it all stay outside in the fresh air and leave us alone?


I've got something Mrs. Pao doesn't have. But she will, sometime soon. Hee...


Looking at teenaged girls from the other side of the fence, so to speak, I want to apologize to every guy in the world. I'm really, really sorry. Really. I've tried to make up for it by not producing any more of them. I know it's an inadequate gesture, but it's the best I can do.


Podcasts Rock. Knitting Podcasts Rule.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Call me superstitious (being a fellow heathen wretch), or worse, an animist, but I would NOT call my car ugly.
You may have insulted and angered it.
It may respond by developing problems far worse than a dent or two.
- Sis, who left a "please, any future possessors of this car, love me and treat me well"-type note in her old trashed Honda Odyssey before the tow truck took it away. 8-P

What would a knitting podcast comprise, for goodness' sake!?

Teenage girls are horrifying.
For me, this is yet 3 or 4 years off.

9:27 PM  
Blogger mE said...

It's already developing new problems, and that is just another in a long line of them. It obviously feels no loyalty towards me, so I see no reason to pander to it's lemon-flavored self. As opposed to my old red Colt, bless her little ever-running heart; now SHE was a CAR! She knew she was ugly, but she knew she was valued and important, and acted accordingly.

5:28 AM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I ran into the same idiot who hit your car at a Petco parking lot.

I agree, teenage girls are unbelievable, why guys found us the least bit attractive is beyond me.

10:31 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

It makes my car a little more Organic looking.

That's an interesting take on the situation...

8:16 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

A cabbage car... Mmmmm. I'm hungry. :)

5:52 AM  
Blogger mE said...

d.c.~ I think it has something to do with teenaged boys just being big tanks of seething testosterone on feet... they don't really care what teenaged girls *act* like, as long as their pheromones are in working order!

m.t.~ Okay, so I'm stretching a bit far for a silver lining. With my back, *any* stretch is probably good for me...

t.~ I've got some good cole slaw dressing here in my fridge... :D

6:04 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I'm glad you and the Vampire are ok! Poor purple car. It must be rough being a purple car, based on my former purple car's suicide.

7:32 AM  
Blogger mrspao said...

Erm.. a driver's license? Just kidding. You do intrigue me. I think I need a purple car that has been well-loved. Our car is too new for me to want to drive it. I liked our young adult aged previous car which was given up with great sadness when the garage said parts were getting harder to come by...

3:12 PM  

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