January 18, 2006

Made You Look...

Ha! Fooled you, didn't I? You thought I was going to actually *write* something worth reading.

Nope. I am just Checking In.

But as long as I'm here, let me say a couple things:


Dear Pirate:

Thank you for staying in bed for nearly two days, even if your reasons had more to do with the schedule of the National Football League than with being a rational human being with a giant bleeding incision. I'll take my blessings where I find them.

I do NOT thank you for scaring me silly by picking up that carton of soda cans. Stop that.

Oh, yeah... love you, and everything. Whatever.


Dear Vampire:

Thank you for sitting still and not protesting (much) when your parents decided to Tag Team you into submission with the whole Studying For Life lecture, and for lying yourself blue in the face by protesting that your eyes were NOT glazing over and that you DID understand that what we were saying was important. I'm glad to see that you are developing a few survival skills.

Thank you also for voluntarily using your Christmas Gift Card for buying that SAT study guide when you could have used it for a really cool Poker set without incurring another lecture. I will give you the benefit of the doubt, and refrain from assuming that the reason you did this is because you were with your very studious and ambitious girlfriend at the time. I will instead pretend that you did it for yourself. (No, I'm not giggling... my throat tickles. Or something.)

My gratitude is equal to my determination not to let you off the hook. Get used to the books, buddy, or get used to not having a Social Life.

Oh, yeah... love you, and everything. Riiiiiiiight...


Dear Red Scarf Project:

Don't think I am oblivious to your devious and hideous plot. I see what you are doing, and I am not going to let it stop me. I am going to stitch you up, and then I'm going block you, even if it means that I have to pin every stitch down flat. I'll sleep on the floor and pin you to the mattress if I have to. So you keep on looking like a mutated catterpiller, mister, and see where it gets you. I've dealt with tougher customers than you. If I can control 35 kindergarten kids in a Science Museum, I can control you. But I don't have to love you.


Dear Cat:

I'm sorry that your meal was two minutes late today - I will try not to let that happen again. That said, please stop eating my hair while I am knitting. It may be a reasonable form of retribution, but I'm reasonably certain that it's not good for your digestive system. Anybody who produces hairballs that impressive should probably not add hair that measures two feet in length to the mix.

I won't embarrass you by declaring my affection. But you know what I mean.


Blogger mama_tulip said...

Dear Eileen:

Thank you for blogging.

3:35 PM  
Blogger Chris said...


What Mama_Tulip said.

3:47 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

My grandmother taught me how to do a basic knitting stitch when I was about 5 or six. I wish I had kept up with it. I love reading your blog and will add it to my ever-expanding blogroll. Thanks for stopping by.

4:48 PM  
Blogger mE said...

*blush* You guys are the sweetest! And the most hilarious...

wordgirl~ You can restart your knitting career now, if you like, and get much more out of it. I didn't learn to knit until I was an adult, and at the time I assumed I'd be *dreadful* at it, since I've always been a complete disaster at sewing or crocheting, and hadn't really understood the rather idiotic knitting instructions we'd been given in our middle school Home Ec class.

Remember: It's never too late to collect a new obsessive and expensive habit!

9:25 PM  
Blogger mrspao said...

Dear Eileen

I have to say you are a very patient and funny woman!

Now, can I stop giggling please?


2:34 AM  

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