February 09, 2007

On Being the Ping Pong Ball

I have a flu. Or maybe an inner ear infection. I don't know, and I don't care. Whatever it is, I hate it with a red hot passion that *should* be heating the house to a much warmer temperature than it currently seems to be enjoying.

It's bad enough that I feel exhausted and dizzy and nauseous (and probably unrelatedly, I also have killer cramps). As insult added to my injury, I am an object of ridicule because my lack of balance combined with complete inability to get up the energy to open my eyes is causing me to occasionally careen around the room like a deranged ping-pong ball, bouncing off walls and furniture at random. Except that I emit amusing grunts and expletives in exchange for the charming 'poink' noise that your normal, sane ping-pong ball makes when it breaks its shins lightly bounces against something.

All I want to do is get from a prone position on the couch to a prone position in my bed. Is that so much to ask?

Evidently it is. I suspect The Cat of moving furniture whenever I run (desperately) for the bathroom. I suppose she can't help it, being a Cat and all, but I still intend to wreak my revenge by covering the ottoman and the area in front of the heating vent with crumpled tin foil.

As soon as I can make it through the kitchen door without breaking my neck.

Maybe next week.


Blogger mrspao said...

HUG! Hope you are feeling better soon!

2:15 AM  
Blogger Carrie K said...

LOL! That'll teach her.

1:22 PM  

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